Welcome to our "Tools for Parents" page. 

Connect

• Set some ground rules. Establish clear guidelines like what types of sites kids can visit, apps they can download, and when they can have access to electronics. Consider “blackout” periods that require disconnection.
• Research before you buy. It’s important to learn about a device’s capabilities before you buy. Will it allow unknown people to communicate with my child? Will this allow children to make unchecked purchases?
• Go beyond safeguards. Installing monitoring software doesn’t guarantee your child will be safe online. Time, attention, and active conversation are the best tools to protect them.
• REPORT! If your kids are dealing with cyberbullies or potential online enticement, report it to the website, cell phone provider, law enforcement, or www.cybertipline.org

LEARN

• Know the platforms. Online enticement happens across all platforms, so be aware of the sites, games, and apps your children frequent. Ask them to show you how they use them.
• Be proactive. Teach your kids to spot common tricks used by online offenders. In NCMEC CyberTipline reports, the most common tactics used to entice a child online were:
  • Engaging the child in sexual conversation/ roleplay as a grooming method.
  • Directly asking the child for sexually explicit images of themselves, or offering to mutually exchange images.
  • Developing a rapport with the child through compliments and other supportive behaviors such as “liking” their online posts.
  • Sending unprompted sexually explicit images of themselves.
  • Pretending to be younger.
  • Offering incentives for explicit content.
• Spot the Red Flags. A child who is experiencing online enticement may be:
  • Spending increasing time online.
  • Getting upset when he or she is not allowed on their device.
  • Taking extra steps to conceal what they are doing online.
  • Receiving gifts from people you don’t know.

ENGAGE

• Talk about it! Your kids might not tell you everything but ask anyway. Regular conversations about safety can go a long way in increasing trust and communication.
• Get involved. Challenge them to a duel. If you have kids who like to play online games, ask if you can play, too. When you respect their interests, they’re more likely to respect your rules.
• Don’t pull the plug. Taking away internet access because they may have made mistakes online doesn’t solve the problem. Talk to them about protecting themselves and respecting others online.

1. Have an amnesty day.  This means that your child will not be punished for anything that is shared during the conversation.  You are worried about him/her and you simply want to know how they are doing.
2. Ask if and when they first saw pornography.  Remember that the average age of first exposure is 8-11.  It shouldn't be surprising if they have seen something. 
3. Ask "How did that make you feel?" It is natural that it may have made them feel a mixture of good, gross, confusion, and curious. Keeping those feelings a secret can also keep a young person trapped in a cycle of shame.
4. Say, "I'm sorry that happened to you." If they were exposed at home, take responsibility for not putting proper parental controls in place.  It is difficult to keep up with technology, and we can all make mistakes.  When we do we apologize and make things better.
5. "We are going to do better." This is your opportunity to implement some changes to help your teens stay away from pornography and other harmful content.  Many young people experience relief when their parents make these positive changes at home.